


Wishing On A Star

by NeedyUke



Category: Original Work
Genre: Angst and Tragedy, Depression, Emotionally Repressed, M/M, Secret Crush, Tragedy, Wet Dream
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-02-06
Updated: 2018-02-06
Packaged: 2019-03-14 18:07:46
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,474
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13595517
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/NeedyUke/pseuds/NeedyUke
Summary: Have you ever had a secret so big you thought it would eat you alive? This is the story of one man's secret love and how the truth came out...too late.





	Wishing On A Star

Jason hugged his knees against his chest as he sat on the rooftop patio of his apartment building. The moon was full and bright, casting faint shadows across the cool, pitted concrete beneath him. He gazed at the stars, trying to distract himself from his nagging thoughts that plagued his troubled mind. He tried to imagine the alien planets that must be orbiting most of those distant pin-points of light suspended in the black sky.

A particularly strong gust of wind ruffled his already messy hair, but he paid no attention. He was focused on some mysterious world located lightyears away. He wished desperately that he could somehow be transported to that lonely world, away from this retched place and all the burdensome worries of his life. Then, he wouldn’t have to…

_I have to tell someone. This is eating me alive._

A bright light streaked across the sky, and Jason held his breath. He loved to see shooting stars. He immediately closed his eyes to make a wish. He knew, of course, that shooting stars we not really stars at all, but he always made the wish anyway.

Impulsively, he strayed from his normal wishing routine. Instead, he muttered, “I wish to tell my secret before…”

~

Colin knocked on Jason’s apartment door and glanced at his watch. It was nearly midnight. He hoped he would not wake him.

Jason’s room mate answered the door, yawning.

“Sorry to come over so late. Is Jason already asleep? I need to talk to him,” Colin said, already regretting coming over at such an hour.

“Jason is on the roof,” he said, not bothering to even say goodbye before closing the door.

Colin made his way to the roof access stairwell. At the bottom of the stairs, he paused, looking up. With a deep breath, he started up the 24 flights of stairs which led to the roof.

Finally, at the top, he found the key that Jason kept hidden in an old soup can on an abandon rusty chair that only had three legs. He gathered his resolve and quietly opened the door.

Colin could hear Jason talking. He had just assumed he was alone up here. The roof was his favorite place to get away from everyone and everything. He peeked around the edge of the door to see who Jason might be talking to, but he was alone.

~

“…sounds silly, I know. I just don’t know who I could tell. And I can’t keep it inside me anymore,” Jason said to the sky.

Colin held his breath, listening from the doorway.

“I don’t even know where to start, so I will just come out with it. I am in love with my best friend, Colin. He has no idea. He is not even gay. I don’t know how I let this happen…”

Colin’s heart was hammering at his rib cage. He knew he should not be eves dropping and considered announcing himself somehow, but he held his silence. He needed to hear the rest of this.

“Colin and I have been best friends for 10 years now. I am not even sure when I started feeling this way. Our friendship was always so easy. We didn’t have to work at it. We were just…so completely comfortable with each other. He knows I am gay, and he has no problems with that. But I know he is straight. He has had girlfriends.

“But, somewhere along the way, I fell for him. A few years ago, I started flirting with him. At first, he played it off and ignored it. Or maybe he didn’t notice. I don’t know. But then, he started to flirt back.

“It is funny. I always wanted him to flirt back, but when he finally did, it was even more painful than before…because I knew he didn’t mean it. It was just a game to him.”

Colin watched from his hiding place as his best friend poured out his soul to the heavens. He could see that Jason was crying. His shoulders shook, and his voice quivered. But he never stopped to wipe the tears from his face.

“I found myself thinking about Colin all the time. He never left my thoughts. We always spent a lot of time together, but I wanted to be with him every minute. I was selfish. I kind of hated myself for that. I felt like I wanted to possess him like he was some pretty and precious object. I was jealous of his other friends. I wanted him all to myself.

“Then I started thinking about him as I fell asleep at night. I would hug my pillow and pretend it was him. If I closed my eyes and concentrated hard, I could actually feel his skin, his touch, his breath, instead of my lifeless pillow. In my head, I played out conversations we might be having if he had, in fact, been with me…in my arms.

“Believe it or not, I still had not admitted to myself that I was in love with him. I kept myself comfortably wrapped up in the soft blanket of denial. Our friendship was everything. I did not want to ruin the one good thing I had in this life.

“Then it happened…the day I realized the truth.”

Colin was straining to hear every word despite the roar of rushing blood in his head. A small smile touched the corners of his lips. He had been wanting to talk to Jason about this very thing for the longest time, but he never knew how to say the words.

Jason stood up and stretched, reaching for the sky which hung on his every word. He walked to the railing and looked down to the street below where cars and busses rushed past, oblivious to his pain.

He leaned against the railing and continued, “About 6 months ago, I had a wet dream about Colin. It was the most real dream I have ever had.

“He was on hands and knees, naked in front of me…begging me to fuck him. He was so lewd with his words and his moans. I felt like a king. I felt like I owned the world. As I eased into him, pleasure beyond anything I had ever known blossomed within me. He rocked his hips back to meet my every thrust. We were so completely in sync.

“Then I started to lose my control. The pleasure got the better of me. I pushed his face into the pillow and moved harder, faster. He was whimpering, trying to get his breath, but still he met my every thrust with his perfect hips. I bent over him and began to fuck him like an animal. I was out of control. Colin managed one single word. _Please._

“Sweat fell from my face onto his back. I reached around and stroked him in time with my wild thrusts. As soon as Colin came onto the sheets below him, I released inside him.

“And then I woke up. My hair was sweaty, and my wet boxers clung to my skin. I have never had an orgasm like that before…or since.”

Colin had to adjust himself. His jeans were too tight, and he felt slightly dizzy. He closed his eyes to steady himself. He was brought back to his senses when he heard Jason let out a gentle sob.

“I just can’t do this anymore. I can’t have him…but I can’t live without him,” Jason cried to the night sky.

Colin knew he could no longer hide his presence. He needed to embrace his friend, kiss him, tell him the truth about how he felt, too. He pushed the door open and walked out onto the roof.

When Jason heard the door screech on its rusty hinges, he swung around with a start. His mouth fell open when he saw Colin standing there staring at him.

“How m-much did you hear?” Jason asked, hoping for the best. When Colin did not answer, anger took him. “How much did you hear?!” he shouted.

“I heard it all.”

“No…” was all Jason could manage. He shook his head violently back and forth and cried.

“Jason, I…”

“Stop. Just stop. I can’t hear this. I just can’t. Colin, I am sorry,” Jason said through his tears. He swung his legs to the other side of the railing and stood on the ledge looking down. He gave Colin one last glance over his shoulder and said, “Forgive me. I really am in love with you.” Then he disappeared off the edge of the building.

Colin took two unsteady steps forward before falling to his knees, eyes wide with horror. “I came here tonight to tell you the same thing,” he whispered. “I am in love with you, too.”


End file.
